another day waiting for peace

there are days that you wish it was another day another time. some days like the day your son dies. others it is just so loud and lonely. still others when you just want peace inside and you want to escape to those summer days on the beach when you were 17. not a care in the world, the soft warm breeze in the bright sun, blue skies welcoming you with little wispy clouds. instead you are stuck in this world, wondering what happened to the peace? why you cant seem to ever be alone. (dad offered me refuge while he is away.I may take him up on it over the weekend!) but peace why is it so elusive? Just as i begin to relax( maybe with a good book or studying) he is in my face, (like when you are so tired and you are awakened over and over again then finally you cant sleep at all cause your body is afraid, of being disturbed one more time... ) asking me questions that seem so irrelevant mundane, acting as if he was asking me the meaning of life? maybe i ,so over critical, am just "feeling" its this way? i just want to be left alone to figure out my life i want the peace that was here before him the ease that life took on without annoying interruptions that are my daily life....